Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarket rather than small shops or local markets? Is this positive or negative for development? Discuss and give your opinion.

There is quite an obvious discussion around the topic of shopping.
While
some people believe that mega-stores are unnecessary for people who want to buy any
goods
for them, I would argue that
this
trend has more benefits and
comfortable
Add a missing verb
is comfortable
show examples
for consumers. I will explain my reasons in
this
essay. There is no doubt that most supermarkets provide all
goods
and well-designed layouts.
This
is because the most part of the
goods
are located in the appropriate department, which can make it convenient for customers to find a product.
For example
, in Australia, Coles supermarket can provide all
goods
such
as dairy-free, gluten-free and nut-free in each department that can be easy to find from buyers.
As a result
, that can make all customers less spend time on their shopping
while
they have to go to work or have to look after their kids. It is worth pointing out that mega-stores are necessary for buyers who would like to buy a greater number of products.
This
is based on the fact that shopping in a big supermarket that can
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
offer a special price to buy all products.
For instance
, Costco Wholesale can provide the price of their
goods
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a decent price
while
their membership customers buy a large amount of products at that time.
Consequently
, many supermarkets offer special a discount system by encouraging people with membership cards. In conclusion, we can observe that shopping in a big supermarket has a lot of benefits for consumers
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can be a convenient location for
goods
and decent prices.
Overall
, I firmly believe that
this
trend is a positive development.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument as well as your position. Although your position is clear, clarifying the contrast at the start can enhance understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to enhance the complexity of sentence structures and vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence & Cohesion
While examples are good, ensure they are fully explored and directly linked to your argument to maximally demonstrate the point you are making.
Coherence & Cohesion
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and maintain consistent verb tenses throughout your essay to improve clarity and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples such as Coles supermarket and Costco Wholesale to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Effective use of paragraphs to separate ideas clearly, making your essay easy to follow.
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