IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below provide information about the destinations and employment of UK first degree holders. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below provide information about the destinations and employment of UK first degree holders. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #destinations #employment #uk #first #holders #features #comparisons
The table
chart
 presents
Add an article
the percent
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of graduates working in four
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 employment types during 4 years.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the pie charts demonstrate
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of payments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 genders in 2009 and 2010.
Totally
Rephrase
The total
show examples
 table
chart
show
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shows
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 that most of
graduate
Add an article
the graduate
show examples
 students have
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
carrers
Correct your spelling
careers
carers
 and based on
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
 in the pie charts more than half of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 earn between 15000 and 25000.
To begin
 almost 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 have
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 jobs and its
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 has a little fluctuation
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 4 years.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
percent
Correct your spelling
the percentage
show examples
 of
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs
deacreasing
Correct your spelling
decreased
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2
percent
.
While
 students that attend more studies were level off about 17
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but not
employeed
Correct your spelling
employed
 ones rises until 2009
then
 it falls down. In comparison of two pie
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 an important result could be that women
eran
Correct your spelling
earn
 less than
men
. In spite
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
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, 4
percent
 of
men
 take more than 35000 only 2
percent
 of women have
such
 salaries.
Although
 females had
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 low payments
uunder
Correct your spelling
under
 15000. but in salaries between 15000 to 20000 both sexes have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 quotes and females have more
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in payments between 20000 and 25000 In short, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
diffrence bettween
Correct your spelling
difference between
men
 and women
whereas
men
 in most parts had the upper hand and
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
academic graduates had full-time jobs.
Submitted by Saeed201271 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, percent, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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