The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing for making sugar from sugarcane.
The diagram indicates the manufacturing process for making
sugar
from sugarcane within seven steps by machines and man-made. 
To begin
with, on top of that, the
sugar
cane
grew within 12 to 18 months,
while
the second
step
was divided into two ways for harvesting. One
step
was to use a machine which could produce a larger amount of
sugar
cane
.
On the other hand
, the other
step
was to make a little more
sugar
cane
from man-made.
In addition
,
this
could jump to the third
step
which was to crush the
sugar
cane
to juice status by a machine. 
Furthermore
, the fourth to seventh steps
also
used different kinds of tools to assert workers,
whereas
workers just only utilised various tools to help them, including using filters to purify juice, using heaters to evaporate juice to syrup, centrifugation to separate
sugar
crystals from syrup, and dying and cooling
sugar
.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, step with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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