Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion.

Some people harbour a belief that the main advantage of international
cooperation
is in the environment ,whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint that the development of
world
business
is the most important. From my perspective, I am inclined to stand neutrally with both aspects since they both considerably influence the future of the
world
.
Initially
,one of the main arguments in favour of environmental conservation is that it needs the
world
as a whole to work together to protect the Earth. As the Earth has become a village, the environment requires every human to have consciousness to conserve it.
Therefore
, international
cooperation
plays an indispensable role in communicating with different countries.
For example
, the International Emission Agreement set up a rule for the
world
to follow and has significantly limited charcoal emissions.
Thus
,environmental protection indeed is a crucial issue of international
cooperation
. At the other end of the spectrum, international
cooperation
can contribute to a significant effect on
business
as it is not restricted to a certain area. Take K-pop
for instance
, the charm of Korean idols has spread around the
world
.When those super idols host their tour concerts around the
world
, the
business
benefits are not only brought to the Korean pop industry but
also
the local tourism where the concert is hosted.
Hence
, the development of
world
business
is an essential proportion of international
cooperation
which will bring vibrancy to
world
economics.
To sum up
, despite the fact that environmental conservation demands international collaboration, the importance of
business
potential cannot be ignored.
Thus
, countries should optimally cooperate so as to generate long-term merits for the
world
and create a sustainable living environment.
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Development
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Language Accuracy
Be cautious of small typographical errors, such as spacing issues ('Initially,one' should be 'Initially, one'). These don't significantly impact your score but polishing them can enhance the readability of your essay.
Structure and Clarity
Your essay provides a well-structured discussion that clearly addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting your own perspective adequately.
Use of Examples
The use of examples, such as the International Emission Agreement and the K-pop industry, effectively illustrates your points and enhances the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • green technologies
  • combating climate change
  • global trade
  • foreign investments
  • international standards
  • regulations
  • global sustainability
  • mutually beneficial
  • long term well-being
  • complexity
  • balanced approach
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